Some divorces are so contentious that the adults involved can no longer speak to each other without a massive argument breaking out. While some divorcees don’t have any need to talk, those who share children have to find a way to communicate effectively.
When you and your ex can communicate effectively, your children are the ones who will likely reap the benefits of your efforts. The children can see that their parents are committed to remaining a parenting team for them. Consider these tips to help ease the communication challenges that you may be facing as you transition into a co-parenting relationship with your ex.
Keep all communication focused on the children
All communication between you and your ex should focus solely on the kids. Now that the romantic relationship is over, there’s no need to try to discuss the issues that lead to split. The exception to this is if there was abuse or neglect that affected the children.
Take breaks from the discussions as necessary
It’s almost impossible to resolve issues when both parties are heated. Unless the matter at hand is an emergency, it might be best to take a bit of time to calm down and think rationally about the solutions that are possible. Once you and your ex come back together, it might be easier to negotiate a resolution.
Never involve the children in disagreements
Children shouldn’t ever be privy to disagreements between their parents. This means that neither parent should try to pass messages to the other through the children. Instead, direct communication, whether through texts or speaking, should always be the chosen communication method.
Choose suitable times to have contentious discussions
It’s always best to discuss contentious matters when the children aren’t around. Issues that may cause arguments shouldn’t ever be discussed on transition days because disagreements at the handover can cause stress for the children.
Additionally, having a parenting plan that outlines enforceable co-parenting expectations can reduce the risk of contentious disagreements. This plan may even detail conflict resolution methods, which can help parents to address problems as they occur.